Tuesday December 12th

I wrote this entry on the 12th, but my internet reception was bad and it wouldnt publish:
Tomorrow morning is my first final in The Genre of Fiction. I find it to be a very happy coincidence that this class turned out to be my favorite because it is, afterall, what I plan on studying for about 9 more years. I have been studying non-stop for days now and I feel that after so many hours of meditiation on the same material, I should have received some sort of heavenly englightenment but, alas. I do feel prepared and best of all, interested in knowing what Im learning for the long haul and not just for a grade. I think that, unfortunately, people assume that if you work hard, you are grade-obsessed or that the reason why you work hard is because you only care about your grades. In reality, they are only a way for other people to evaluate you and it has taken me a long time to realize that, if I really want to do well in my field of study, I have to seek to be better and to know more even when I am not in the classroom. The thing about becoming a professor is that you are perpetually a student, though you add the element of learning how to teach. However, after the bachelors level, you are no longer spoon fed the information - you have to seek out the knowledge you hope for. I'm glad because being constantly a student - absorbing new things and coming up with new ideas about them - really thrills me and I know it will make me happy.
My roommates leave town on Friday the 15th, so on Thursday we're going to make a special dinner together and go hear a friend of ours perform locally. We're going to get a pannetone (a special Italian Christmas cake/bread) and eat that together to celebrate the holidays before we go our separate ways. It will be sad to see them go and to be in my apartment the last night by myself. Strangely, I was the first to arrive at our apartment and will be the last one to leave this semester.
I am thrilled to be headed home, on the other hand, and as I get closer to the end it becomes more and more unbearable not to just be there already. The trek home will be a long one - from 4:30 AM on Saturday to 6:30 PM on Sunday with the 7 hour time difference. AH! Fortunately, Chuys TexMex will be waiting for me with open arms when I arrive on the hallowed turf of Texas. Four more days!